{"id":841,"date":"2005-05-26T23:54:23","date_gmt":"2005-05-27T04:54:23","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=841"},"modified":"2005-05-26T23:55:18","modified_gmt":"2005-05-27T04:55:18","slug":"financing-the-sith-empire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/targetcentermass.net\/?p=841","title":{"rendered":"Financing the Sith Empire?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wanted: Annakin Skywalker, a.k.a. Darth Vader, a.k.a. the Chosen One, a.k.a. Annoying Little Snot from Episode One.<\/p>\n

Crimes: Murder by the Force, Torture of Own Daughter, Crimes against Humanity (and other species), Assault with a Deadly Lightsaber, Driving a Podracer Without a License, Theft<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It appears that life on the dark side is not so rosy
\nafter all.<\/p>\n

When Darth Vader made an appearance at a movie theater in Springfield, Ill., on May 21, he wasn’t there to recruit minions or to watch his doppelganger in the sixth and final Star Wars movie, “Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.”<\/p>\n

Instead, he robbed the cash register.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I hate Illinois Sith.<\/p>\n

According to Springfield Police Lieutenant Doug Williams, an unidentified man wearing a Darth Vader mask, black pants and a black shirt walked into the Showplace Eight Theatre at about 9:15 p.m. The man made his way behind the counter of the front cashier area, shoved the employee aside and grabbed an undisclosed amount of money.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Minus major nerd points for poorly-executed costume.<\/p>\n

Williams said the suspect did not utter a word during the crime, nor could witnesses detect any heavy breathing coming from behind the mask. There was also no sign of the villain’s ubiquitous light saber.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Minus more nerd points for being out of character (except for the criminal thing) and for the lack of geek bling.<\/p>\n

The suspect reportedly fled the theater and escaped into a nearby wooded area. Police have no lead in the case.<\/p>\n

The man is approximately six feet tall and 150 pounds. Williams said the suspect also wore a green money belt in addition to his all-black ensemble.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Isn’t he a little short to be a Sith Lord?<\/p>\n

Foretelling the future: (insert hand gesture) But officer, these are not the theater receipts you’re looking for.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wanted: Annakin Skywalker, a.k.a. Darth Vader, a.k.a. the Chosen One, a.k.a. Annoying Little Snot from Episode One. Crimes: Murder by the Force, Torture of Own Daughter, Crimes against Humanity (and other species), Assault with a Deadly Lightsaber, Driving a Podracer Without a License, Theft. It appears that life on the dark side is not so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-841","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entertainment","category-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/targetcentermass.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/841","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/targetcentermass.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/targetcentermass.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/targetcentermass.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/targetcentermass.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=841"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/targetcentermass.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/841\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/targetcentermass.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=841"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/targetcentermass.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=841"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/targetcentermass.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=841"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}