Wanted: Annakin Skywalker, a.k.a. Darth Vader, a.k.a. the Chosen One, a.k.a. Annoying Little Snot from Episode One.
Crimes: Murder by the Force, Torture of Own Daughter, Crimes against Humanity (and other species), Assault with a Deadly Lightsaber, Driving a Podracer Without a License, Theft.
It appears that life on the dark side is not so rosy
after all.When Darth Vader made an appearance at a movie theater in Springfield, Ill., on May 21, he wasn’t there to recruit minions or to watch his doppelganger in the sixth and final Star Wars movie, “Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.”
Instead, he robbed the cash register.
I hate Illinois Sith.
According to Springfield Police Lieutenant Doug Williams, an unidentified man wearing a Darth Vader mask, black pants and a black shirt walked into the Showplace Eight Theatre at about 9:15 p.m. The man made his way behind the counter of the front cashier area, shoved the employee aside and grabbed an undisclosed amount of money.
Minus major nerd points for poorly-executed costume.
Williams said the suspect did not utter a word during the crime, nor could witnesses detect any heavy breathing coming from behind the mask. There was also no sign of the villain’s ubiquitous light saber.
Minus more nerd points for being out of character (except for the criminal thing) and for the lack of geek bling.
The suspect reportedly fled the theater and escaped into a nearby wooded area. Police have no lead in the case.
The man is approximately six feet tall and 150 pounds. Williams said the suspect also wore a green money belt in addition to his all-black ensemble.
Isn’t he a little short to be a Sith Lord?
Foretelling the future: (insert hand gesture) But officer, these are not the theater receipts you’re looking for.
Comments
One response to “Financing the Sith Empire?”
At 150 lbs, he’s a little light for a Sith Lord as well. In fact, he’s a little light to be robbing anyone without a weapon. At six feet tall, this would give him the proportions of a pipe-cleaner.